FORTY YEARS LATER
a friend of life
a proponet of good, of choice,
of things fair
a challenger of status
bringing hope to so many
bringing fear too.
i remember the day
clearer now with time
than the details of having lived the actual event.
it was lunch time when i was told,
kids in the cafeteria, time on our hands.
i was told by someone close to me
someone i trusted
but what she said couldn't be true
i laughed while she repeated what she'd said.
her tone of voice, once i listened, told me more than any words possibly could.
and to this day her tone resonates.
and to this day, though i know its true,
i still find it hard to believe.
i remember more now about it
than i could accept or understand
as the events unfolded before me.
from the moment i understood as best as i could what i'd been told, thru the days of
childhood wonder
at actions from adults like i'd never seen,
to events they'd never seen, and none of us could believe.
days went by consumed by confusion
spent in front of tv sets
placed as prominately as american flags
looked at as intently as truth
barely understood by most
of any age or group,
we watched as images flashed by
as we all found it so easy
to cry together.
it was a moment
when millions lost their innocence.
when millions lost their breath,
it wasn't war,
it wasn't that simple. it wasn't just a moment in regular time
it was a lifetime in a moment
for those that were in it
a lifetime of disbelief, a turning point that
changed all of us by forcing questions
and offering only grief.
and now, all these years later, ceramonies can't make the feelings go away. none can remove the mark on our hearts, for that space is reserved for what we lost, that day so many years ago.
definitions of trust and hope changed, the word "why" taking on more meanng than it should have ever been allowed to.
and there aren't any reasons now to explain it as there weren't any then.
those of us that cried together still wonder why. knowing only that there aren't any answers now as there weren't any then. while each passing year brings that day to visit us again, and we realize what could have been, could have been.
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